Bat out of Hemel
The following contains A.I. content.
Had a fun chat about “Bat out of Hell” on WhatsApp with some buddies, one of whom suggested that if we covered it, it should be re-titled “Bat out of Hemel”. So I asked ChatGPT the following…
From the Meatloaf song, Bat out of hell, Reinvent the lyrics. Instead of the song being called “A Bat Out of Hell”, it’s going to be “A Bat Out of Hemel”. That being Hemel Hempstead in Hertfordshire, England, UK. What can you do with it to make it fun? Instead of being “like a bat out of hell”, it’s “like a bat out of Hemel”, and then what could you do with the rest of the lyrics to make it coming out of Hemel Hempstead? Something like, there’s the A41. There’s the Magic Roundabout, or the Awkward Roundabout, as some motorists might like to think of it. What other notorious things from Hemel could we include in this to make our song a kind of funny parody?
Here’s the result…
Bat Out of Hemel
A Hertfordshire rock-opera parody
[Verse 1]
The horns are all screaming and the brake lights are glowing
Way down by the Plough tonight
There’s a man in a Corsa with fear in his eyes
And his satnav shining bright
There’s panic in the air and there’s thunder in the sky
And six mini-roundabouts to beat
There’s a bloke going clockwise, another going backwards
And a learner who just wants to leave
Oh, I swear I saw a taxi driver down by the Water Gardens
He’d been trying to find Boxmoor since three!
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, baby, you’re the only one in this whole town
Who knows their left from right
And wherever we go and whichever road we take
We always end up here each night
But I gotta get out, gotta get to the A41
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of this one tank of petrol
‘Cause by morning it’ll all be gone!
[Chorus]
LIKE A BAT OUT OF HEMEL!
I’ll be gone when the traffic clears!
Oh, when the night is over
Like a bat out of Hemel, I’ll be gone, gone, gone!
LIKE A BAT OUT OF HEMEL!
I’ll be gone when the morning comes!
But when the road signs point to Aylesbury
And my satnav says Watford instead
I’ll be back on the Magic Roundabout
Going round and round again!
[Verse 2]
I’m gonna hit the A41 like a battering ram
In a second-hand Vauxhall Corsa
With the clutch burning out and the fuel light flashing
And the satnav shouting orders
There’s a queue at the lights and a queue at the shops
And a queue getting into town
I went looking for Aquasplash down at Jarman Park
But they’d already knocked it down!
There’s snow on the slopes in the middle of August
And ducks in the Water Gardens too
And old Snooks is still buried out on Boxmoor
He’d have made a better getaway than you!
And I know that I’m doomed if I never get out
And maybe I’m doomed if I do
But if I’ve gotta spend my whole life here circling
I’d rather be circling with you!
If I gotta go round, you know I wanna go round
Turning through the night with you!
Going round and round! (Round and round!)
Going round and round! (Round and round!)
Going round the Plough with you!
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, baby, you’re the only one in this whole town
Who knows their left from right
And wherever we go and whichever road we take
We always end up here each night
But I gotta get out, gotta get to the A41
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of this one tank of petrol
‘Cause by morning it’ll all be gone!
[Final Chorus]
LIKE A BAT OUT OF HEMEL!
I’ll be gone when the traffic clears!
Oh, when the night is over
Like a bat out of Hemel, I’ll be gone, gone, gone!
LIKE A BAT OUT OF HEMEL!
I’LL STILL BE HERE WHEN THE MORNING COMES!
And when the day is done and the sun goes down
And I’m still on the same damn road
Like a man on his nineteenth lap of the Plough
I’ll come crawling back round again!
I’ll come crawling back round again!
[Guitar Solo]
(Spoken over the guitar solo)
Satnav: “At the roundabout, take the second exit.”
Driver: “WHICH BLOODY ROUNDABOUT?”
Satnav: “Recalculating.”
Driver: “I’VE BEEN HERE SINCE TUESDAY!”
(Cue enormous guitar finale.)